Blogging about your most private and personal experiences is not easy. We think it takes serious guts to blog about infertility. One of the motivations behind our directory of Fertility Bloggers is to make it easier for bloggers who are putting themselves out there to connect with a supportive audience. As part of this initiative, we have the privilege of featuring the fine work of one of these bloggers each month. For the month of August, we are delighted to have the wife and husband duo behind Our Misconception as our inaugural bloggers of the month. Candace and Chris are funny, informative, and full of guts. Here is Candace's take of being a fertility blogger in 10 questions.
FertilitySmarts: What are three words that describe your blog?
Candace: Our Misconception: Life, Infertility, Shit-show. Or so this is how I envision it
FertilitySmarts: Why did you start blogging?
Candace: Why not? No one else was talking about infertility at the time (we’ve been blogging for many years now) and we felt like we were complete social and medical misfits with broken bits. We couldn’t be the only ones who felt this way right? Righttt? Hello, is there anyone out there who would like to talk about vaginas and plastic cups with us?
That’s when we broke our monk-like vow of infertility silence. We made a lot of mistakes. SO MANY and still do. We share our experiences, feels and don’t hold back so others who are going through a similar journey know that they too, are not alone on this rickety stroller coaster.
FertilitySmarts: What's the story behind the name?
Candace: We, you, mom, cousin Earl maybe your favorite barista at Starbucks; we all have misconceptions about how babies are made and the feels that come along afterwards. Who would have thought that maybe just maybe there’s more to it than just relaxing while drinking tequila and doing your naughty business upside down?
Hence the name: Our Misconception.
FertilitySmarts: What topic do you find yourself covering most often and why?
Candace: Honestly, it’s a little of everything. We talk about infertility, new technology, secondary, adoption, surrogacy, parenting after infertility…basically if you tossed in the topics of life, infertility and a shit-show into a blender our blog would be the delicious result.
FertilitySmarts: Who is your target reader?
Candace: Honestly, anyone who needs a mental Uber of “how do I get through this.” We don’t target one said person, we just write about the things that have impacted us whatever our season of life happens to be at the moment.
FertilitySmarts: What's unique about your blog?
Candace: It’s a two-fer. We both write on our blog, so there are 2 very different perspectives. So you’ll read both the female and male take on infertility. You’ll also see they we both process and handle each situation differently which turns out, is a good thing in handling heavy topics.
FertilitySmarts: What was your most popular post ever? Why do you think it was popular with readers?
Candace: Surprisingly, our most popular posts have been the ones we wrote about inducing lactation if you have not birthed your child. You can breastfeed if you adopt or choose surrogacy as your path to parenthood. Many folks do not know that is an option for them or how to even get the process started. I did it and it was the first time I could legitly give Mother Nature the middle finger in the journey. #TheMoreYouKnow
FertilitySmarts: What is the best thing about writing about in/fertility?
Candace: It has been a very healing method of coping and dealing with the peaks and valleys of this disease. Oh, and then there’s that whole community aspect. You find hope and healing in the people you surround yourself with. People who struggle to with infertility have grit, they are passionate and they have a lot of love to give. There is no force stronger. The support that follows is something of complete beauty in a dark place.
FertilitySmarts: What is the worst thing?
Candace: Oh, that door is wide open. People are brave behind a keyboard. There are also a lot of people who are very much against family building options like surrogacy and IVF for religious/personal beliefs. I LOVE Jesus, and I also LOVE science. Can’t we all just get along?
Here’s where you turn that “worst” part into something great…educate people on this disease. We use negativity as awareness opportunities.
FertilitySmarts: What's the best tip you have to offer someone struggling with fertility issues?
Candace: I have 3:
- Be your own advocate.
- Seek out support: Online, Support groups (RESOLVE.org), or a counselor who specializes in infertility/loss
- Communicate with your partner. You are in this together.