Experiencing infertility is an immersive process that you can easily get wrapped up in. After all, there are doctor appointments to schedule, phone calls to make to the insurance company, and medications to be brave enough to inject yourself with.<\/p>\n
But what if you are the one on the sidelines? The friend, or sister, or coworker who finds yourself thrust into the complicated world of scientific baby-making, where emotions are high and medical jargon is confusing. It\u2019s hard to know what to say and do to show you care, especially if you have no personal experience with infertility.<\/p>\n
But the fact is, one in eight couples<\/a> deal with infertility, and chances are you know someone who needs your support. Here are our tips to help you support someone experiencing infertility.<\/p>\n Don\u2019t try to minimize their pain. Don\u2019t tell them to relax, or go on a vacation, or that they are still young. Maybe you know someone who wanted a baby and went to Cancun for some frisky time and came back pregnant. Now is not the time to tell your friend about that. The same goes for false reassurances. Don\u2019t tell them they\u2019re overreacting, or that there\u2019s probably nothing wrong. If they\u2019re bringing it up to you, it means they\u2019ve already been thinking about it, and to them, there\u2019s a very real concern.<\/p>\n It can be hard to find the words to comfort someone dealing with the grief of infertility. The thing is, simply acknowledging them and their situation speaks volumes to your friend or family member. Most likely your friend or family member has heard all the advice before. But asking them how they\u2019re doing opens up the conversation for them to tell you as much as they feel comfortable with at that moment.<\/p>\n Experiencing infertility can be the loneliest thing in the world. By putting them in touch with a family member or friend you know who has experienced or is experiencing infertility, you are showing them they are not alone. Infertility is tricky, in that sometimes it\u2019s easier to talk about it with someone who has been there. It doesn\u2019t mean they don\u2019t need you too, but being able to share experiences with someone in similar situations can help with the isolation.<\/p>\n This doesn\u2019t mean you need to be on the up and up of all things infertility. But familiarize yourself with the general acronyms\u2014know the basics of what an IUI<\/a> and IVF are and what your friend means when they talk about doing a retrieval or transfer (Read more: An Into to the IVF Process<\/a>). Not only does it show you are an active participant in their life, but it saves your friend from having to explain something about her treatment plan to you over and over. They likely won\u2019t mind if you ask questions or need clarification, though. It shows you are invested and people going through the rigors of infertility need people invested in them.<\/p>\n It can be difficult and isolating for someone experiencing infertility to hear about other people’s kids or pregnancy updates. That\u2019s not to say you can\u2019t talk about these things around them ever, but you know your friend or family member best. If talking about your children\u2019s bedtime routine causes their eyes to glaze over, it may be best to save those conversations with your mom friends. Likewise, it may be really hard for your friend to hear about how uncomfortable your pregnancy is when she\u2019d give anything to be in your situation.<\/p>\n Invite them to baby showers, but don\u2019t push it if they don\u2019t want to come. Don\u2019t stop sending invitations to children\u2019s birthday parties. People going through infertility don\u2019t want to be forgotten; they just need to decide on their own what their hearts can handle at the moment.<\/p>\n Infertility is intensely personal and treatment choices are theirs alone to make. They have already thought long and hard about their decisions and the best thing you can do is be on their side. Especially when they decide to stop all treatments.<\/p>\n One of the hardest parts of infertility is enduring the holidays centered around children: Christmas, Mother\u2019s and Father\u2019s Day, or Halloween. These are the days when others are celebrating the one thing your friend wants most in the world. A text message, a phone call, or a card in the mail letting them know you are thinking about them can help them get through a difficult day.<\/p>\n When in doubt, go right to the source and ask your friend how they would be best supported. Do they need you to be a listening ear? Do they want to bounce treatment ideas off you? Or perhaps they need you to be a distraction by taking you out and discussing non-fertility-related topics, which is the best way for them to take their mind off things.<\/p>\n You don\u2019t have to experience infertility yourself to be an understanding and supportive friend or family member. Don\u2019t be afraid to show support because you don\u2019t know what to say, or you\u2019ve said the wrong things in the past that perhaps drew your friend away. By asking them what they need, learning from your own mistakes, and standing by their treatment decisions, odds are you will be the best support they have.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Experiencing infertility is an immersive process that you can easily get wrapped up in. After all, there are doctor appointments to schedule, phone calls to make to the insurance company, and medications to be brave enough to inject yourself with. But what if you are the one on the sidelines? The friend, or sister, or […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":11793,"featured_media":75568,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"topic":[2884],"pp_force_visibility":null,"pp_subpost_visibility":null,"pp_inherited_force_visibility":null,"pp_inherited_subpost_visibility":null,"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n1. Take Their Concerns Seriously<\/h2>\n
2. Ask Them How They\u2019re Doing<\/h2>\n
3. Play The Matchmaker<\/h2>\n
4. Do Some Research<\/h2>\n
5. Be Considerate<\/h2>\n
6. Don\u2019t Forget About Them<\/h2>\n
7. Support Their Decisions. Always.<\/h2>\n
8. Remember Them on Important Holidays<\/h2>\n
9. Ask How You Can Best Support Them<\/h2>\n