Why Egg Donation<\/h2>\n
Couples turn to donor-egg conception for several reasons—from genetic concerns to age-related issues. For me, it was the latter. After our first two unsuccessful IVFs, our consultant introduced the idea of donor-egg conception.<\/p>\n
Our treatments to date had resulted in a decent egg yield and OK fertilization rates but extremely poor embryo quality. Everything pointed towards the fact that my eggs were of poor quality<\/a>. My first reaction was to ‘fix’ the problem. So, preparing for IVF #3, I embarked on a strict regime of acupuncture (fair evidence<\/a> it does not improve results), Chinese herbs (insufficient evidence<\/a> regarding results), vitamins, and high doses of Coenzyme Q10<\/a> which, I’d read, could help improve egg quality<\/a>.<\/p>\n We did see an improvement in embryo quality —so much so that, by IVF #5, we achieved blastocysts<\/a> for the first time – which, finally, resulted in a pregnancy! But that was short-lived— a chemical pregnancy<\/a>, it was over almost before it had begun.<\/p>\n “Rotten luck,” said our consultant. That last cycle yielded our one and only frozen embryo, which also came to nothing.<\/p>\n By this point, I was done. Now, aged 43, it was tough to finally accept ‘defeat’ but I still wasn’t ready, by any means, to contemplate donor conception.<\/p>\n A major part of my hesitation towards donor conception was the moral and ethical questions involved.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n We spent a further 12 months mentally jostling the pros and cons of childlessness vs. adoption vs. other routes with the help of a fertility counselor who proved instrumental to our well-being and our decision-making.<\/p>\n A major part of my hesitation towards donor conception was the moral and ethical questions involved. Hundreds of "whys" and "what-ifs" addled my brain, making it near-impossible to move forward:<\/p>\n These are but a few of the many worries I battled with. In the end, our counselor helped us refine our thinking: I made a list of all the things keeping me up at night and then I crossed out the ones that could apply to any parent!<\/p>\n Suddenly my concerns became a lot more manageable, I could focus my energies on a few important questions.<\/p>\n There was still the adoption question. I decided I still wanted my husband to have the chance to be a genetic parent… but I still wasn’t ready to start the donor process.<\/p>\n Related: 5 <\/strong>Emotions You May Experience Before Your First Donor Egg Cycle<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n At this point our counselor encouraged us to visit an open evening with a UK-based donor agency we had read about, having decided that if a donor was the way forward, we’d prefer a ‘traceable’ UK donor. This event provided the final ‘light-bulb’ moment; there we heard from a young adult who was donor-conceived<\/a>, a woman who had conceived using a donor egg, and an egg donor.<\/p>\n All three perspectives suddenly helped reassure me that my concerns were perfectly natural and that the process wasn’t as freakish as I’d feared.<\/p>\n I recognize that everyone’s story is different but, just hearing it was possible to grow up and feel loved and ‘normal’ as a donor-conceived child… that it was possible (natural, even!) to joyfully and unconditionally love a donor-conceived baby—these were the final pieces of our mental jigsaw.<\/p>\n “Sign us up,” we said!<\/p>\n The process of finding a donor was fascinating (and stressful). The agency we used matches donors based on physical attributes as well as values and personality. For me, it wasn’t straightforward; my mixed-race heritage meant it wouldn’t be easy to find me a visual match—but we carefully briefed the agency about the characteristics we were hoping for.<\/p>\n Choosing a donor felt like a life-changing decision—yet it was hard to do with only a childhood photo and a short written profile about themselves including why they’ve chosen to voluntarily donate (to protect their anonymity) to guide us.<\/p>\n But we also recognized that we needed to make a leap of faith and we soon found a donor that we felt a connection with, we were GO! Sadly, after several weeks, it became apparent that our donor couldn’t proceed, due to a family bereavement. So, the search began again for a new donor. Thankfully, we didn’t have to wait too long—and, if it’s possible, we found a new donor that was almost a better match than before!<\/p>\n It’s important to say that donor-IVF still doesn’t guarantee a pregnancy at the end of it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n
Our Donor Conception Hesitation<\/h2>\n
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Better Understanding Perspectives on Donor Egg Conception<\/h2>\n
Finding Our Donor Match<\/h2>\n
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![\"Journey](\"https:\/\/www.fertilitysmarts.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/442ec6c7-820e-484c-b01d-f4dd8c11575f.png\")
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